Finding My Queer Community in San Bernardino: A Journey Home
Have you ever felt like you're searching for your people in a place that doesn't quite see you? That was me five years ago when I moved back to San Bernardino after college.
Desert Blooms in Unexpected Places
I remember my first week back—driving down Baseline Street, windows down, wondering if I'd made a mistake. The mountains stood majestically against the sky, but I worried the conservative reputation of the Inland Empire wouldn't leave space for my queer self to thrive. That first month, I sat alone at Mitla Cafe, scrolling through dating apps and seeing the same five profiles over and over.
When Being Visible Feels Impossible
The struggle was real. Dating options seemed limited. Making queer friends meant driving to LA or Palm Springs. I felt caught between:
- Wanting to be authentically myself but feeling unsafe in certain spaces
- Loving my hometown but feeling invisible within it
- Craving community while navigating family expectations
Creating Space Where None Existed
Eventually, I realized waiting for community wasn't enough—I needed to help build it. I started small:
- Found the tiny but mighty LGBTQ+ Center and volunteered
- Organized monthly meetups at Augie's Coffee
- Connected with queer faculty at CSUSB
Gradually, faces became friends. Friends became family.
You Are Not the Only One
If you're reading this feeling isolated, please know there are pockets of queer joy throughout this city. Your experience is valid, your presence matters, and you deserve to find your people right here at home.
What's your San Bernardino story? Share below how you're finding or creating community here. Every comment builds the map for someone else to find their way home too.