Finding Your Queer Haven in Upland: My Journey to Belonging
Have you ever felt like the only rainbow in a monochrome landscape? That was me three years ago when I first moved to Upland, California—a beautiful city nestled at the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains, but not exactly known as a queer epicenter.
My Upland Awakening
I remember walking through Memorial Park on a crisp autumn afternoon, wondering if I'd ever find my people here. The jacaranda trees were bare, much like my social calendar. I had left my vibrant queer community in Oakland for a job opportunity, and the isolation was hitting harder than expected. Those first months, I'd drive to Claremont or make the trek to LA just to be around other LGBTQ+ folks.
The Invisible Weight We Carry
Let's be honest about the challenges we face:
- The constant energy of coming out to new neighbors and coworkers
- Dating apps that show matches 45+ minutes away
- The subtle code-switching at local businesses
- Wondering if that coffee shop is actually safe for holding hands
Creating Your Queer Oasis
What changed everything for me wasn't finding the perfect queer community—it was building one. Start small:
- Connect with the Pride Center at nearby colleges
- Join Upland community Facebook groups and be visibly you
- Frequent allied businesses (I've found Commonspace Brewery to be wonderfully inclusive)
- Host gatherings, even tiny ones
Remember, your authenticity creates space for others to find you. Every time I wore my pronoun pin at Target, someone would give me that knowing nod of recognition.
You're Not Alone Here
The beauty of Upland isn't just in its citrus groves and mountain views—it's in the pockets of community waiting to be discovered. We're here, sometimes hidden, but always resilient. Your queer joy is both an act of courage and invitation.
How have you found or created queer community in smaller cities? Share your experience below—your story might be exactly what another person needs to hear today.