Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Living Two Lives in Connecticut?
Last week at a coffee shop in West Hartford, I overheard someone say "Connecticut is New England's best-kept queer secret" and I nearly spat out my latte. Truth bomb: they're absolutely right.
My Connecticut Queer Journey
Moving from rural Pennsylvania to New Haven five years ago, I expected more rainbow flags but fewer actual safe spaces. Instead, I found myself at a drag brunch in Middletown where the queen recognized me from a dating app and announced it to the entire restaurant. Mortifying? Yes. But also the moment I realized Connecticut had its own vibrant queer ecosystem that nobody was talking about.
The Invisible Bridge
The struggle is real though. Connecticut queerness feels like:
- Having LGBTQ+ friendly policies but still explaining your pronouns repeatedly
- Finding queer-friendly bars but struggling to form deeper connections
- Dating apps showing the same 12 people for months
- Constantly driving between towns to maintain your fragmented community
Creating Your Queer Connecticut Map
What's working for me:
- Following local queer organizers on social media (game-changer)
- Attending True Colors events even when I'm feeling antisocial
- Creating the spaces I wish existed (my monthly queer book club started with just 3 people!)
- Embracing the smallness—in NYC you're anonymous, here you're known
Remember, your Connecticut queer experience isn't just valid—it's vital to our collective tapestry. The quietness of our community doesn't mean isolation; it means we create deeper connections when we find each other.
Drop a 💙 if you're part of queer CT, and tell me: what space did you create when you couldn't find the one you needed?