Ever Felt Like You're Hiding Two Different Versions of Yourself?
That's exactly where I found myself when I moved to Illinois three years ago. The cornfields stretched endlessly outside my window as I wondered if I'd ever find my people in this new place.
My Prairie State Coming Out Story
I still remember that first winter in Chicago—brutal winds whipping off Lake Michigan as I navigated both the CTA and coming out to new colleagues. There was that awkward holiday party where I mentioned "my partner" and watched everyone's momentary calculation before responding. Some days I felt like I was living in two worlds: the professional one where I carefully measured my words, and the authentic one I saved for safer spaces.
The Invisible Tightrope We Walk
Being queer in Illinois means navigating:
- The progressive bubble of Chicago versus smaller town realities
- Finding community beyond the obvious gay bars and pride events
- That constant mental calculation of when and where it's safe to hold hands
- Building friendship circles that truly get your experience
Creating Your Chosen Family Here
What's worked for me is looking beyond the obvious spaces. The LGBTQ+ book club at the Carbondale library introduced me to some of my closest friends. Virtual meetups through Illinois queer hiking groups connected me with people before I even met them in person. Sometimes family is found in unexpected corners of this state.
You are never as alone as you feel in those first vulnerable moments. For every cornfield there's a pocket of community waiting, and for every uncomfortable silence there's someone else looking for connection just like you.
Where have you found your people in Illinois? Share your story below—your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.