Is It Just Me, or Is Being Queer in a Small Midwestern Town Both Beautiful and Terrifying?
The first time I saw a rainbow flag hanging from a porch in Ames, I nearly cried right there on Welch Avenue. After growing up in an even smaller Iowa town where I carefully monitored every word and gesture, finding little pockets of queer visibility here felt like finally exhaling.
My Ames Story
I remember sitting nervously at Stomping Grounds, waiting for my first date with someone I'd met through the university's LGBTQ+ student group. The barista smiled knowingly as she handed me my third chai latte in an hour. When my date finally arrived, wearing a Pride pin so tiny you'd miss it if you weren't looking for it, I understood that balance of visibility and caution that defines so much of queer life here.
The Small-Town Queer Paradox
Being queer in Ames comes with unique challenges:
- Limited dating pools that make every Tinder swipe feel momentous
- The daily calculation of when and where to be visibly yourself
- Finding community when there are only a handful of explicitly queer spaces
- Navigating relationships under the watchful eyes of a small community
Finding Your People
What saved me was realizing I didn't need a massive queer scene to thrive. The friends I've made through ISU's Pride groups, community events at The Center, and yes, even awkward dating app meetups, have become more like family. Sometimes our "scene" is just six of us watching movies in someone's apartment, and that's enough.
Remember, your queerness doesn't need big city validation to be authentic. Your midwest queer experience matters just as much as anyone else's.
How did you find your people in Ames? Share below - I've found some of my closest friends through comment sections just like this one.