Finding Your Rainbow in the Heartland: My Queer Journey in Dubuque
Have you ever felt like the only rainbow fish swimming in a sea of sameness? That was me three years ago when I moved to Dubuque, Iowa—a place where cornfields stretch as far as the eye can see and Friday night football is practically a religious experience.
My Dubuque Story
I still remember that first week in town, walking along the Mississippi River, wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake. The midwestern politeness was abundant, but where were my people? Then came that magical night at Smokestack, when a casual conversation with the bartender led me to my first queer potluck. Suddenly, Dubuque wasn't just a pin on a map—it was becoming home.
When Being Authentic Feels Impossible
Let's be honest about the challenges:
- Dating apps that show the same 12 people within a 50-mile radius
- Well-meaning neighbors asking about your "roommate" when they've met your partner multiple times
- The exhausting mental calculation before every hand-hold in public
- Finding queer-friendly healthcare providers who won't blink at your pronouns
Creating Your Own Magic
What I've learned is that queer joy in smaller cities isn't found—it's created. Start small: join the LGBTQ+ resource center's monthly meetups, volunteer at the community garden (seriously, there are more of us with plant obsessions than you'd think!), or host a queer movie night. Your visibility matters more than you know.
Remember, even on days when Dubuque feels too small, you're part of something bigger. Your existence here is both radical and necessary.
What's your experience being queer in a smaller city? Share below—our stories are the bridges that connect us when geography tries to keep us apart.