Anyone else feel like being queer in Missouri is playing life on hard mode?
I'll never forget the day I walked into my small-town Missouri coffee shop holding hands with my partner. The silence was deafening. Eyes tracked us from the door to the counter, where the barista's smile tightened just enough to notice. That's the thing about being queer in the Midwest—you become an expert at reading micro-expressions.
The Missouri Queer Experience
Growing up in Springfield taught me resilience I never knew I needed. Between the conservative church billboards and family reunions where I'm still introduced as having a "roommate," I've collected enough awkward moments to fill a memoir.
What We All Face Here
- The dating pool that's more like a dating puddle
- Finding safe spaces when entire counties feel unsafe
- The exhausting "coming out" conversation with every new person you meet
- Balancing authenticity with safety in everyday interactions
How I'm Making It Work
I've found that building your chosen family is essential. The queer community in Kansas City and St. Louis might be more visible, but even in smaller towns, we're here. We're just harder to find.
Look for subtle flags and signals. Join online groups specific to LGBTQ+ Missourians. And remember that authenticity attracts authenticity—once I stopped hiding, my people found me.
You Are Not Alone
On days when Missouri feels suffocating, remember there's a whole community feeling exactly what you're feeling. We're scattered across this state like stars—sometimes hard to see, but always shining.
Share your story below. Where in Missouri are you? What's your experience been like? Your voice matters, and someone needs to hear exactly what you have to say.