Finding My Rainbow in Hackensack: When I Wondered If I'd Ever Belong
Have you ever looked around your hometown and thought, "Is there anyone else like me here?" That question haunted me during my first year in Hackensack.
My Unexpected Jersey Journey
When I moved to Hackensack three years ago, I was that anxious queer person scanning coffee shops for pride pins and rainbow flags. The first few months felt isolating—walking along Main Street, navigating the diverse neighborhoods, all while feeling somehow invisible. Then came that rainy Tuesday at Hackensack Brewing Company, where I stumbled upon a queer trivia night that changed everything.
When Connection Feels Impossible
Let's be honest about the struggles:
- Dating apps that keep matching you with people in Manhattan or Philly (hello, geography settings!)
- Trying to decipher if that cute person at the Riverside Square Mall is actually flirting
- Finding queer-friendly spaces without traveling to Hoboken or NYC
- That awkward "coming out" conversation with new friends, again and again
Creating Your Hackensack Queer Community
After months of trial and error, here's what actually worked:
- The SPECTRUM Center hosts monthly mixers that are deliberately low-key
- Johnson Public Library's LGBTQ+ book club meets every second Thursday
- Bergen Pride organizes weekend hiking groups where friendship happens naturally
- Start small: I found my people by simply wearing subtle pride accessories
Remember, Hackensack's queer community isn't as visible as Asbury Park's, but we're definitely here, creating beautiful connections in unexpected corners.
Have you found your people in Hackensack yet? Drop your story below—your comment might be the beacon someone else needs to find their way home.