What's it like being the only queer person in your Kearny coffee shop every Tuesday morning?
I remember the first time I walked into The Hudson Perk on Kearny Avenue, rainbow pin nervously attached to my jacket. The barista—a kind-faced woman with silver hair—noticed immediately and whispered, "My daughter just came out too." That small moment changed everything about how I experienced our little corner of New Jersey.
Finding Your People When There Seems To Be None
Kearny might not have the rainbow crosswalks of neighboring Jersey City, but we're here, we're queer, and we're ordering elaborate coffee drinks just like everyone else!
The Invisible Tightrope We Walk
Let's talk about the struggles that come with being queer in a place where:
- You constantly calculate when/how/if to come out in new situations
- Dating apps show the same 7 people within a 20-mile radius
- You're invited to straight colleagues' weddings but hesitate bringing your partner
- The "looks" when holding hands with someone you love
Creating Your Own Queer Kearny
After years here, I've learned some survival strategies:
- The monthly meetups at Arlington Library are a hidden gem
- Connect with Hudson Pride Center's outreach programs
- Join the Kearny LGBTQ+ Facebook group (we're small but mighty!)
- Make friends with the allies—they'll introduce you to their queer friends
Remember, your queerness doesn't need validation from having a thriving local scene. You bring the magic wherever you go in this town. When I feel alone here, I remember what my grandma (who never quite understood but always supported me) said: "You're just experiencing Kearny before it's ready for all your colors."
How are you creating queer joy in Kearny? Share below – our stories help others feel less alone here. 💜