Finding Queer Joy in Small-Town North Carolina
Ever feel like you're the only rainbow flag in a sea of tradition? That was me, three years ago, when I first moved to Hickory, North Carolina – a place where church steeples outnumber Pride flags by about a thousand to one.
My Hickory Beginning
I remember that first week vividly. Unpacking boxes in my little rental near Union Square, wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake. The barista at Taste Full Beans gave me a curious once-over when I ordered my coffee wearing my "Love is Love" t-shirt. I almost turned around and drove back to Asheville right then.
But Hickory surprised me. Behind its traditional Southern facade, I discovered pockets of queer community that felt like finding water in a desert. From the inclusive book club at the local library to the monthly gatherings at LGBTQ-friendly restaurants, connection was possible.
The Invisible Tightrope
Let's be real though – being queer in a small Southern city comes with challenges:
- Dating apps where the same 12 faces rotate endlessly (and half are "just visiting from Charlotte")
- The constant mental calculation of when and where it's safe to be fully yourself
- Building authentic friendships when coming out is a never-ending process
- Finding healthcare providers who won't make your sexuality the focus of every visit
Creating Your Queer Hickory Map
Here's what I've learned works:
- Be bold but strategic - wear that Pride pin to the farmer's market; you'll be surprised who notices
- Connect with Catawba Valley PFLAG - they know where the community gathers
- Make peace with driving to Charlotte or Asheville sometimes for bigger events
- Create the space you wish existed - my tiny queer book club now has 15 members
Remember, you're not actually alone here. We're just scattered like fireflies – harder to see until we start glowing together.
What's your Hickory experience been like? Share below and let's light up this comment section with our stories. The person searching for their community might find you in the responses. ✨