Finding Home in a City That Wasn't Made for Us
Have you ever walked through a place and wondered if anyone could see the real you? That was me five years ago, wandering through downtown Raleigh with a rainbow pin hidden under my jacket lapel.
My Raleigh Awakening
When I moved to Raleigh from rural NC, I expected the city to immediately embrace all parts of me. Instead, I found a beautiful but complicated place where queer visibility existed in pockets—vibrant spaces carved out in corners of Glenwood South, secret gatherings in Cameron Village apartments, and whispered recommendations for truly safe spaces.
The Invisible Tightrope
The hardest part wasn't finding other queer people—it was navigating the constant code-switching:
- Monitoring how I dressed in different Raleigh neighborhoods
- Calculating when to mention my partner at Triangle networking events
- Finding friends who understood both my queerness and my Southern roots
Creating Your Queer Raleigh Map
What saved me was intentionality. Instead of waiting for Raleigh to make space for me, I started making my own:
- Ruby Deluxe became my sanctuary on tough days
- The LGBT Center of Raleigh connected me with chosen family
- NC State's GLBT Center events welcomed even us "older" queers
Remember: your experience here is valid even when it's complicated. The sweetness of finding your people amid the struggle makes the belonging that much deeper.
Where did you find your first moment of queer joy in Raleigh? Share below—someone else might need your map.