Is Being Gay in Rural America Really as Isolating as People Think?
Spoiler alert: Yes and no. Let me tell you what it's been like for me here in Rapid City...
My Black Hills Queer Journey
When I first moved to Rapid City three years ago, I expected to be the only queer person for miles. Mount Rushmore didn't exactly scream "gay haven" to me. Those first few months were lonely – walking through downtown wondering if anyone else like me existed here, scanning faces at Harriet & Oak café for that subtle "family" recognition.
The Invisible Tightrope We Walk
The struggle is real, friends:
- Dating apps show the same 12 people within a 50-mile radius
- Coming out repeatedly (to new coworkers, neighbors, healthcare providers)
- Calculating safety in public spaces before holding hands
- Finding community when there's literally one queer bar in town
Creating Home Where You Are
What's saved me? First, finding the small-but-mighty queer community here. We exist! Second, quality over quantity – the friends I've made understand the unique experience of being queer in a conservative space. Third, becoming what I needed when I arrived – starting a monthly potluck that's grown to 20+ regulars.
You're Not Actually Alone
The most beautiful discovery was realizing that queerness exists everywhere – even beneath the conservative veneer of South Dakota. We're teachers, nurses, baristas, and yes, park rangers at Mount Rushmore.
What's your experience being queer in a small city? Has anyone else created something beautiful where you thought nothing could grow?